Wow

I've been too busy playing Zelda games and the fuck-yeah that is the Nintendo 64 for the past week, or so, to update. Not to mention I haven't been at my house half of the time. Blah blah blah!

A-n-y-w-a-y-s... Moar Pun Fun, and I, for one, would love pun fun!

Oh shit, before that, I got my schedule for school.

Man, I don't get to have German until the 2nd/3rd trimester ):

I also need to switch my AP lit from 3rd to 2nd hour.

Also, AIDS.

If Mohammad [Praise be his name] had founded his religion in the same matter that L. Ron Hubbard founded $cientology, would that make him a prophet?

Sorry no post yesterday

I was busy

With things

And stuff

And I got new glasses!

So, anyways, I was riding in a car the other day, and the traffic light changed from green to orange, so, naturally, I yelled her to JUICE IT, so she could make it through before the light turned red.

ALSO, best idea ever: If I ever made a game, or a comic, I decided that I should put in a faction dedicated to

Oh great Sea God

I pray to thee on this most auspicious of days [/looks up today in wikipedia]

Um... the, uh, okay, there isn't anything sea-related today, and I don't think my awesome plan to have a sea-god prayer as an opening for today's pun is working very well.

On the cooler side, apparently Cleopatra committed suicide today. [Yeah, Okay, "cool" isn't the right word...]

Anyways, today's pun -- If Poseidon's wife became pregnant, would he give her a C-Section?

Crawling in my skin
These wounds
They will not heal

We Got AIDS From Monkies...

How, I do not know.

I think that it's rather special, though, that science concludes that the ONLY way we could have gotten AIDS was bumpen uglies with the retarded cousin of the homo-sapien.

Look, humans are sick, but we're not THAT sick. Haha, just kidding, there are sick fucks that would gladly stick their Sapien sticks up the monkies homo-holes, but that's beside the point -- Today's pun is very fun, but I suspect that maybe only one will understand it...

If a young man ran into the jungle, and started to masturbate the primates, would he be Jackanapes*?

Ba-dum psh

It is now time for the first annual...

Dic-tion-ary for
Dumm-ies

"The more you know - Because knowledge is power!"

Lesson 1: Jack-a-napes
–noun
• A mischevious are impudent child, or an impertenint youthful male.
•• [Archaic] An ape or a monkey

Anonymous

Is legion

Also, you don't have to be a registered user to leave comments, now.

Punishment

The next one is horrible. Like, really bad... C'mon, you know you want to h-e-a-r it~!

Okay! What does a cold chicken say? Brr-cawk!
Oh god, that's right, groan. GROAN YOUR PATHETIC GROANS, NO MATTER HOW BAD IT IS, I WILL STILL SAY IT.

Hm? Not bad enough for you? Or is it? Well that may be, but one more...

What kind of underwear to women at convents wear?
THE HAVE A HABIT OF WEARING NONE.

Bwahahahaha.

Soda is a Fickle Thing

Because there is so many kinds, and I can't find the time to drink all I find D:

So, with that lame intro, I pose with you... a question.

RIDDLE ME THIS! Why do hair fetishists like Mountain Dew?

...

So they can do the dew.

BA-DUM, PSH.

Malicious Misery Makes Most Memorable Music

First up, I'm putting a shameless plug here for the band Malice Mizer. It's like Japanese Harpsichordian Rochno. Yeah, no, I can't really explain the genre at all, so here is a little html'd song. [above]

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to say... hey.
And that I'mma put some of my older puns in here, now.

If Satan was addicted to coffee that would make him a Caffiend.

Do all fishermen rob banks?

Would I have to cover my penis in sugar for it to be junkfood?

If I had a daughter I'd like to name her Lilith, but hell knows what she'd go through in life because of her name.

If you found a large, aquatic mammal in serious condition, would it be hippocritcal?




"Dohohoho, this man is an idiot."

Phones for the bored

"They were making sand art - it was trippy."
"Well, it is almost fall..."

So it was, I want to say... around Labor day.
There was food, we were merry, My family and I, and I was sitting at a table with my two older brothers.
The eldest, RJ, said something like "I wish I could grow my hair that long, but whenever it gets longer than this it just curls up - my friends' dad calls me Shirly Temple."
Without missing a beat I said "Surely you jest."
We had a good chuckle.
then he hit me upside the head.

Just two or three days ago my mom and my brother were in the kitchen, and my brother was flicking a glass, to get the water out of it, and my mom was like "Don't do that, it's crystal, it breaks and chips easily!"
So I was like "Well... do you have any dip?"
My mom hit me upside the head.

I leave the best messages [No puns]

Besstages.

"I was promised food, so I demand proper compensation."


Anyways, you know what's bullshit? People who don't pay up. And not just people who don't pay up - people who don't pay up, who said they paid up, and the amount they said they paid wasn't even the amount they owed you.

This just happened to my brother.

He did something for someone that cost him 50 bucks. Two payments of $25, to be exact.

Well the guy claims that he's only owes 10 dollars.
10 dollars.

CMON, YOU'RE NOT EVEN BEING SUBTLE.

You can't Scam someone out of 40 dollars by saying you don't owe them that.

If you can you're one lucky SOB, beacuse if it was my, I'd club your kneecaps. Hard.

Fornicate my last post.

As in "Fuck it" beacuse who says I need to learn what the fuck I'm doing before I do it. PUNS! Only a handful, though Overdoses can be DANGEROUS. BEHOLD!

So, if a man walks into a graveyard and takes various parts of of various dead people, and fashions them into a mug, does that make it a Frankenstein?

So my brother mentioned something about rats to me the other day, and I got to thinking. Female mice. Females menturate. If a female rodents mensturated, then would they need mousepads?

I'll sue any Indian, but Not a ho.

I've had the urge to create for myself a stack of amphibians. I would pile them one-by-one on top of each other, until I have achieved the creation of a Toadem Pole.

If I had an age-regression ray-gun I could make a Tadpole.

The puns will come once I'm done with the ho-hum

See, I don't feel the need to post my intellectual sucker punches, quite yet. I will when I feel like the time has come. Or when the bell tolls [For me, of course.]