Malicious Misery Makes Most Memorable Music

First up, I'm putting a shameless plug here for the band Malice Mizer. It's like Japanese Harpsichordian Rochno. Yeah, no, I can't really explain the genre at all, so here is a little html'd song. [above]

Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to say... hey.
And that I'mma put some of my older puns in here, now.

If Satan was addicted to coffee that would make him a Caffiend.

Do all fishermen rob banks?

Would I have to cover my penis in sugar for it to be junkfood?

If I had a daughter I'd like to name her Lilith, but hell knows what she'd go through in life because of her name.

If you found a large, aquatic mammal in serious condition, would it be hippocritcal?




"Dohohoho, this man is an idiot."

Phones for the bored

"They were making sand art - it was trippy."
"Well, it is almost fall..."

So it was, I want to say... around Labor day.
There was food, we were merry, My family and I, and I was sitting at a table with my two older brothers.
The eldest, RJ, said something like "I wish I could grow my hair that long, but whenever it gets longer than this it just curls up - my friends' dad calls me Shirly Temple."
Without missing a beat I said "Surely you jest."
We had a good chuckle.
then he hit me upside the head.

Just two or three days ago my mom and my brother were in the kitchen, and my brother was flicking a glass, to get the water out of it, and my mom was like "Don't do that, it's crystal, it breaks and chips easily!"
So I was like "Well... do you have any dip?"
My mom hit me upside the head.

I leave the best messages [No puns]

Besstages.

"I was promised food, so I demand proper compensation."


Anyways, you know what's bullshit? People who don't pay up. And not just people who don't pay up - people who don't pay up, who said they paid up, and the amount they said they paid wasn't even the amount they owed you.

This just happened to my brother.

He did something for someone that cost him 50 bucks. Two payments of $25, to be exact.

Well the guy claims that he's only owes 10 dollars.
10 dollars.

CMON, YOU'RE NOT EVEN BEING SUBTLE.

You can't Scam someone out of 40 dollars by saying you don't owe them that.

If you can you're one lucky SOB, beacuse if it was my, I'd club your kneecaps. Hard.

Fornicate my last post.

As in "Fuck it" beacuse who says I need to learn what the fuck I'm doing before I do it. PUNS! Only a handful, though Overdoses can be DANGEROUS. BEHOLD!

So, if a man walks into a graveyard and takes various parts of of various dead people, and fashions them into a mug, does that make it a Frankenstein?

So my brother mentioned something about rats to me the other day, and I got to thinking. Female mice. Females menturate. If a female rodents mensturated, then would they need mousepads?

I'll sue any Indian, but Not a ho.

I've had the urge to create for myself a stack of amphibians. I would pile them one-by-one on top of each other, until I have achieved the creation of a Toadem Pole.

If I had an age-regression ray-gun I could make a Tadpole.

The puns will come once I'm done with the ho-hum

See, I don't feel the need to post my intellectual sucker punches, quite yet. I will when I feel like the time has come. Or when the bell tolls [For me, of course.]